I did it! Well technically the doctor did it. But I laid there so that’s something right!?
I had a few moments just before they injected the final dose of “lights out” meds when I asked myself, “What if I just didn’t go through with it? Is that an option?” Fear does crazy things to your mind. But fear wasn’t about to stop my belly from its well deserved fresh start.
What kept me from backing out and running out of the operating room? I have trained myself to go toe to toe with fear. It’s like a bully. When you stand up to a bully, most of the time the bully backs down. My natural instinct, when faced with fear is to choose flight over fight. But I’ve learned that when it comes to that bully, fighting is the better option.
That’s exactly what I did. I fought off fear. The past few years, I worked my butt off to lose weight. I owned my health and fitness and was in the best shape of my life. I became a #Girlboss. I earned the title of Elite Coach in my organization and finished 2014 as # 50 out of 300,000 peers. John Acuff said something in his book Start:Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work That Matters that really spoke to me:
ou will work harder at something you love than at something you like. You will work harder than you have ever worked when you start chasing a dream. You will hustle and grind and sweat and push and pull. You will get up earlier and go to bed later. But that’s okay.”
I am proud of the work I put in. I discovered a new love for me, a healthy confidence and I am insanely driven to continue to pursue my passion for people and health. The hustle was worth it. Because of God’s blessing and the hard work, I was able to swipe my debit card at a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills without a feeling of guilt or worry. I earned this. I was worthy of this change. Regardless of what others may think or say, fear of judgement was knocked out by the truth of who I am know. And with that, and some really good anesthetic, I dozed off to la la land and the surgery began.
I don’t have a ton of pics of surgery day but we’ll start here:
I checked in for surgery at this well known medical facility and thought for sure I would see a celebrity or two. The room was quiet. Just me and my mom. The nurse took me back and left me to take one more pregnancy test and change into my surgery outfit.
She should have never left me alone, cause I took the moment for a few snapshots. As you can see, I was in the bathroom. If you know me, you know bathroom selfies are a favorite this girl.
I tucked myself into my warm bed and the process began. Blood pressure, temp, and a chat with my anesthesiologist were all followed by the pre-op markup (sorry no pics allowed). Dr. Edween and I laughed a lot as she drew purple lines all over my stomach. I felt like the chalk board for a pre-school drawing project. When the doodle was complete it was nighty night time.
And what happened next? Well that’s my next post. For today let me encourage you to fight for your dream. No, a tummy tuck wasn’t the goal. But it was a perk for chasing the other dreams in my life. What are you chasing? Will you fight off fear or will you run from it and leave your dreams in the dust too.