YOU ASKED FOR IT: MY TUMMY TUCK UPDATE [Part 3]

FREEDOM!

Just like I found my #fitfam on Instagram, I have also found the TTC(tummy tuck community). It is so nice to be in the recovery trenches with these folks. We celebrate the little things.  Things I’ve taken for granted since I was TWO!

  • Walking to the bathroom without assistance
  • Wiping your own rear post potty time!
  • Standing up a little taller everyday
  • Weaning (off the pain meds that is)
  • The sensation of touch (The feeling around my stomach has been gone for a week)
  • and this one is what I am praising Jesus for…The tubectomy:  Removal of drainage tubes!

I cannot tell you how amazing it is to “drop my drawers” and pull them on up without having to manouver them around the drains. My hubby says he hasn’t seen me that excited about taking my pants off for almost 14 years. These are the Jr.High boy moments I get out of the nearly 40 year old child living in my house who I refer to as my husband. Wouldn’t trade him for the world.

I had my one week post operative appointment. The tape over my incision was removed and I got to see my hip to hip wound. I say wound, because it is not yet a scar. It is healing very well. The moment of truth really for me was the belly button stitch removal. Since full feeling hasn’t come back to my midsection, it didn’t hurt one bit. I told my Jeremy it was the perfect opportunity for a belly piercing. He gently reminded me that I am 35. He’s good at bringing me back to the real world. Ha.

Ok back to my appointment. I am excited about my belly button. I actually haven’t seen my button really since I was  pregnant with son #2 almost 10 years ago. This might be an odd thing to be excited about, but I really love it. Some of you asked it was actually my belly button or do they “make a new one.” It’s all me baby!

During surgery they actually cut my button away from the skin, pull new skin down and cut a new hole. The belly button is brought up through the hole and stitched into place. Dr. Edween went the extra mile. My original belly button had a hole from a piercing I had in it during my twenties. She showed me today a spot down at the incision and said, “There is that hole from your piercing I fixed. It should heal up just fine.” Do you know how strange it is to look that far down south and see the place where my button used to lie?

Many of you also asked how many pounds of skin was removed. Missed the pics? You can check this past post:Recovery pictures

Dr. Edween said she would find out in the records for me and get back on that one. I sure am curious myself! The most she could ever remember was about 8 pounds!

I am still VERY swollen. I feel like “guy #4” in those evolution of man posters. Dr. Edween reassured me it was normal because she pulled extra tight for me. Im not willing to split my stiches, so I will walk bent over for as long as it takes. Plus she told my hubby to massage my back for me. I am liking her more and more. He’s not.

Next appointment? Next month. Jeremy and I were warned not to jump back into working out just yet. can workout whenever he wants but he’s supporting me in my progression back.  That’s what he says.  I call it an excuse.  Honestly though, we have our plan of attack. We are focusing our energy on our nutrition and everything we are putting into our bodies. I cannot wait! If you missed the info on our healthy for the holidays, you can check it out here —>HEALTHY HOLIDAY

I’ll continue to keep you updated on the recovery, the appearance, and all the rest!

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Tuck and Roll. It’s game time.

I have started and deleted paragraphs for the last hour. Am I sharing too much? Too little? Will they understand WHY I am opting to dive into surgery? I decided to stop fretting and start writing.

This is for me. This is a diary to share my emotions. This is my mommywonderand. A place to record my thoughts.  A place to reflect.  A place to look back and see where my mind was at during moments like these.

How do I even begin to describe this choice without going on and on and on? Why do I feel I need to justify what’s about to happen to me in one week?  In my heart I know I don’t.  My social media family, although often opinionated, has proven to me over the past four years that they support me.  And yet, today I want to make sure you really understand.

I’ll start with the “post-baby-body” I was left with after child #2. I was 26 when my last baby was born.  Oh how I remember that fine age.  My metabolism was working hard for me back then. Oh the good ol’ days when I could still eat cheeseburgers and fries, workout the next day and drop 5 pounds. And then I turned 27. Even though it didn’t happen that fast, I noticed my metabolism was slowing and my body didn’t recover from late night ice-cream runs like it once did.  I decided to put down the burgers, and pick up the spinach. It was time to make consistent healthy food choices.

I worked hard.  I made good choices.  I stayed focused and on point because “abs are built in the kitchen right?” The work brought results. I lost my baby weight, but NO WAY did my body look the way it did before kids. If you follow me on instagram you’ve seen my journey.  I’ve lost pounds, I’ve lost inches, and I’ve lost most of my “pooch.”  But what remained was my war-torn belly of mommy scars…stretch marks.bellypic

Don’t get me wrong. I love what each line represented.  I love my boys.  I’m proud to be a mom.  It was a dream come true for me and raising them is my greatest joy.  But that didn’t change how I felt in a bikini.  The pride I have in being a mommy was often masked by the shame I felt when my belly was exposed.  I battled in my mind for years over my insecurity.  Was this just vanity? Was I wrong for not embracing these “war scars” as blessings?

Inside I recognized my mind was just battling fear.  Fear of what friends would think.  Fear of what Facebook would think.  Fear of family.  Fear of what you would think.  I had to do what I learned from so many personal development books I’ve read have taught me to do.  I had to punch fear in the face!  I had to embrace the truth I know about me.

THE TRUTH:

I never stopped working on me. I’m committed to health because I love feeling healthy.Yes, I have moments of cheeseburger weaknesses, but I fight for health every single day.

This is not about you.  No offense but it doesn’t really matter what you think. It matters how I feel in the body God gave me.

I’m not doing this to like myself more.  I’m good with me.  Five years ago that was not the case.  Had you met me then you’d know me liking me has been a process.  But I do like me. Scratch that.  I love me.  I’m confident in me.  This won’t make me a better woman.  It won’t change who I am.  And thanks to God and a whole lot of small group time with the ladies at church, I’m really glad about that!

So there it is.  Next Tuesday, November 3, I’m doing it.  I’m going under the knife. I will share each moment with you. Even the post-op pics.  You’ve learned by now, my life is an open book. I hope you’ll keep reading.

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